Sunday, September 12, 2004

Kerry blames Bush for Florida Hurricanes

FLIPVILLE, Ohio (RRP)--Long shot presidential candidate John Kerry rallied the troops before a large group of supporters in Flipville today. Speaking before a group calling themselves Wiccans Aiding Comrade Kerry (WACK), Senator Kerry laid blame for Florida's recent wave of hurricanes squarely at President Bush's feet.

"Mother Nature has chosen to afflict our nation," said the candidate. "These hurricanes have hit our shores as a reply to the economic and educational policies of President Bush. It's the wrong weather in the wrong nation at the wrong time. I pledge during a Kerry administration that our nation will see no hurricanes, no blizzards, and no tornados."

Chased down by reporters for further comment as he entered his campaign bus, Kerry added, "I don't wear my faith on my sleeve; but, I know Mother Nature. That's how I know what I know. The goddess and I are on a first name basis. She calls me John, I call her Amy."

--Rocky River Press